When looking at an arising situation in our lives, it is easy to label it a problem, conflict, or dispute. Doing this automatically brings negative energy to the situation and reduces the chances of a good outcome. When we do this we usually put ourselves as the good guy and the “other” as the bad guy, cause, or foe. This judgment nullifies the other’s truth and makes it hard to evaluate options effectively, since most of the energy is spent justifying our own side.
We see this all around us. The person arguing with the supermarket checkout clerk, complaining about the boss, or going off with road rage. How often does this reaction get the person what they want and a good outcome? Not often. The flip side is the person who consciously looks at things as “situations”, seeing into both sides without judgment. They are able to calmly figure out what actions to take that lead to the outcomes they want.
In its simplest form this is illustrated by the concept I call “Coyote”. When the Coyote finds himself caught out in the rain he doesn’t waste one second of time and energy lamenting the fact that his day has been inconvenienced or finding out who caused the rain, he simply starts evaluating options with no judgment. It is a beautiful thing.